~kiltpower

So Im done pretending like I know what I'm doing in life right now.
I've oversimplified my goals to the point that all i care about is finding money so Cole and I can actually get married, hopefully raise a small family and live life before we die.
Short, simple, sweet, and just about the exact same thing everyone wishes to accomplish in their short existence.
But in this year of working, starving, scrimping, saving, and suffering, I've found myself with less than when I started. It's just a downer. Now both Cole's job and my own are fucking us on a regular basis, working us opposite shifts or not at all. I've been lucky if i've gotten $100 paycheck in a week for this past month. Of course its instantly gone after the gas to get there and the food and cigarettes to fuel me.
I'm probably going to surrender to the will of my elders and go to college next year some time. Cole wants to work on a business degree and open a comic/gaming shop, since the last good one around here shut down. Who knows if it's even going to be here tho. I'd like to get in a position where id have the time and the freedom(mostly of mind) to paint as i will, hopefully at a rate that i could sell them on a regular basis. My sister's father in law just opened a gallery in town-- to name one place i KNOW i could sell at. Its kindof a backwards position im in. A starting artist with all the connects but no collection to sell?? Surely a fragment of my subconscious knows what Im doing and where everything is going. I just have to continue searching for it.